{Reclaiming my blog}

I’ve decided to take up blogging again and you’ll see why in the following post, but I think it is oh-so-sweet that my blog’s name is more applicable now than ever. Every life has a purpose.

{ How did I get here? }

Life is not at all how I thought it would be.  At 16 I never imagined that it wasn’t me who decided how my life would turn out. According to my plans, I would be married for close to 10 years by now and already have birthed the, I don’t know, 4 children I wanted. I wouldn’t have had to wait (for what felt like an eternity) to find my husband. I wouldn’t have struggled (for what felt like an eternity) to conceive my first baby. And I certainly wouldn’t be experiencing one of my worst fears now. Even as I sit at my computer processing my feelings, I don’t know what to think or how to phrase it. This isn’t supposed to happen to people like me…weak, sinful, struggling people. This only happens to those super-godly people who have it all together.

We are pregnant again. We were beyond thrilled to find out we were expecting #2. As we went in for my 8-week appointment and ultrasound, I had a bad feeling. I told the ultrasound tech that and she asked if I had any symptoms or signs of something wrong. I said no. And I didn’t. Then I had my 12 week appointment and ultrasound. We could tell something was wrong with the way the tech acted this time. With Mac she was open about everything looking normal. This time she said the doctor would talk to us about how the baby looked. We waited (for what actually was an eternity) for the doctor to come in. She saw no signs of there being anything wrong with the nuchal fold, but said there was a cyst somewhere in the baby’s abdominal region. She referred us to a specialist with no real information or leads as to what the issue could be. I came home and began googling (always the right thing to do, right?!). It actually gave me a peace about what the issue was. I had diagnosed our baby and I was no longer overly concerned.

{This was actually a HUGE part of how God was and is teaching me to trust in him. After reading this information, I no longer had to trust in God—I had data, science, statistics. I felt a sense of relief but a huge sense of guilt.  I thank the Lord for revealing my sin to me in this way. }

We went to our appointment with the specialist and found out our baby had an obstructed bladder and the cyst was just a by-product of that. He told us the worst case scenarios, best case scenarios, and likely scenarios. Likely scenario being that it would clear up on its own. Then we started hearing about several babies who had the same diagnosis as us that didn’t go away. We shared our news with friends and had a kind couple recommend UAB to us, as it is highly ranked in the states among the best hi-risk units.

We had another appointment (1 week after our first appointment with the other specialist) and the news was not so great. We found out that while it is possible for this to clear up on it’s own, it’s not likely. Our baby has been given two possible diagnoses—PUV (very grim survival rates) or Triad Syndrome (better survival rate but still not great). Our doctor is actually leaning more towards Triad because of a few other indicators on the ultrasound. We go back in two weeks for another check-up and what the doctor believes will be a more conclusive ultrasound.

{ Where we are now: }

We believe in God. The one true God. The same God who has the power to create our world with a word, part oceans, and raise the dead to life. He has done far greater things than opening a baby’s bladder, yet we pray he will choose to glorify his name in this way. We boldly ask for that in humble prayer and we ask that others join us in this request. We believe in the power of prayer. Not because it changes God’s perfect plan, but because it changes our hearts and gives us the opportunity to take part in his mighty works. We know he may choose to work in any way he wants, and we know he will give us the grace to handle whatever that may be, whenever that may be. So, no, I never thought I would be experiencing this. But I know now that God doesn’t give challenging times to the people who have it all together (do those people really even exist?). He gives ordinary people his strength to endure hard times…just as he did with Moses, David, Job, and Paul. Am I comparing myself to these men? By no means. But I am encouraged that the same God who cared for them cares for me. And more importantly, he cares for this baby. This tiny, unborn baby that some don’t even recognize as such. God is currently knitting him (yes, him. It’s a BOY!) together in my womb and I know his stitches are perfect.

{I'm Back...}

Geez. It’s been so long since I last updated this blog. Much has changed in my life since…ummm, June.

After moving multiple times this summer, I am finally “at home” living with my cousin, her husband, and their adorable baby girl. It has been great and I am so thankful for their hospitality and generosity. I have my own little pink room (which will one day be Annie’s) and bathroom. Since my cousin is more like a sister, and I’ve known her hubby since freshman year at Auburn, it has been easy and fun living with them. I love getting to see them in the role of parents and learning from their example. You can see their adorable family blog and pictures here: http://abbasgirlandthefamily.blogspot.com/

The school year is back in full swing. I am in a 2^nd grade classroom this year, co-teaching with a wonderful teacher/mentor. We have 24 little darlings that occasionally make me want to pull my hair out. They are a talkative bunch! Very talkative. Trying to get them to listen, learn, read, follow directions, etc. is more difficult than pulling teeth. Literally! Some of the students have allowed me to try pulling their teeth. January is calling my name because our class will split and we will each only have 12 students. Yayyy! We have made the official decision of who gets whom, so for the next couple of months I can mentally prepare for the challenges that will certainly come my way. Just to clarify, I love teaching. I love children. I especially love these children!! They are fun, energetic, hilarious, kind-hearted, and pretty darn cute! This year, however, has been difficult. This group of kids has been far more difficult than I imagined. I thought moving from 4-year-olds to 7 & 8-year-olds would mean more independence and maturity. Not really the case. I daily question whether or not I am in the right career. Luckily, God (in His amazing plan) brought me to the teaching profession and Cornerstone in a way that I cannot question. He prepared my path in a way that makes it impossible to question the fact that I am where He wants me to be. So…I am enjoying (sometimes complaining about) the fun and busy time of preparing my classroom and getting ready to take on the responsibility of educating 12 young children. Pray for them and pray for me!

More updates to come...maybe. Check back soon.

Mastering the Art of Free Time

I had high hopes for the summer. I thought I would have so much free time and finish everything on my list. I thought I would use a lot of my time to make things and get a head start on Christmas gift making (I’m on a tight budget and “gifts” is a killer!). I know it’s still early, but so far I feel like I’ve had little free time. UNTIL…

I’ve actually had a little bit over the last week and a half! While last week was partly spent preparing for a weekend trip and the gifts it included (2 Father’s Day and 2 birthdays), this week is being spent relaxing! I am still working three days a week, but that leaves two week days for errand running, exercising, cooking, crafting, puzzle-smithing, or just vegging out. I’ve experimented with a few recipes…some successful and others not at all. I also got to make my grandmother’s birthday gift, which I think turned out pretty well considering it was my first try using a grapevine wreath AND incorporating cotton bolls. If you’re wondering why I put bolls of cotton in a wreath, I have two very good reasons. One: my dad used to be a cotton farmer, so the plant is special to my family, and two: I LOVE cotton. I love the memories of trumping cotton as a kid, the feel of cotton (esp in the form of a comfy tee), the look of cotton growing in a field, Cotton commercials, cotton used in floral arrangements, and what cotton represents (a simple natural resource, grown in the USA, used to make clothes for people all over the world). Anyway, I think it turned out pretty…

I like the simplicity of the colors and incorporating different fabrics, like burlap. So, what do ya think? Honestly. I’ve considered making these to sell, but I want to know if people would actually buy them…or even want them! I’d love your feedback.

Also, I'm thinking of trying my hand at embroidery. Let me know if you have any advice, warnings, or resources to begin.

Thanks all! Have a great weekend!!

-Stephanie

{Catching Up}

I have been a horrible blogger lately and done a poor job documenting my life! This is my attempt to catch up.

Here are a few pictures to catch you up on the end of school at Cornerstone...

Field Day

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Sean and Joshua, K4 Celebration

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End of the year class party at Railroad Park

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And some pictures of my trip to Florence to visit my dad…

Dad’s Garden

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Lunch on the Tennessee River

{Summer Job}

I thought working half-days at a local church pre-school would be a fun, relaxing way to earn money over the summer. Wrong. Two-year-olds are a handful! I won’t go in to all the details, but I will just say my first day included cleaning “#2” off hands, floors, and other surfaces. This coming from a child whose father said, “We’ve been working on potty training. She seems to have it, but I put a pull-up on her just to be safe.” This same parent wrote on the information sheet that he would love for her to learn potty training this summer. I’m not sure I get paid enough to handle that responsibility. Not at all. No, sir. Not gonna happen! I love all kids, but I don’t like this one very much. Awful, I know. Just being honest.

A plus side to this whole experience has been the confirmation of what my calling and passion is. I truly love and prefer teaching children with different backgrounds than myself. I miss students asking to “use it” and telling me someone “wasted their milk.” This summer job might not be enjoyable and something I look forward to, like Cornerstone, BUT it has me ready to begin the next school year! And I learned a valuable lesson: don’t get a summer job that includes working with kids. Next summer I may be working at Jack’s (the only fast food restaurant I can think of that children don’t really frequent), but I will make a point to separate myself from little people (except Annie, of course). Sometime you just need a break from kids. Apparently even your own since these parents can’t possibly achieve much in the 4 hours we have them, besides regaining their sanity. Anyway, enough from me. It’s gonna be a good summer, regardless of my day job.

{It's been too long}

I know, I know. Two weeks!!!! Ridiculous. In my defense it has been a crazy, hectic two weeks. Last week was the last week of school, which included lots of tiring days of crazy children, field day (exhausting!!), and cleaning the classroom. On top of that I was packing my apartment to move out by the end of the month…and I have accumulated many things in my 26 years. While it was super busy, it was also two of the best weeks of my life! God keeps amazing me with His blessings and provision. He always seems to provide in an unexpected way that I’m not praying about or even considering an option. With that said…

I got a job at Cornerstone!!!!!! Woot, woot!!! My plan for next school year was a huge question mark that was causing a little stress and A LOT of dependence on God. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a dozen times…we serve a powerful, good, perfect, and gracious God. I knew that whatever my future held would be sweet, but this was out of my scope of imagination. Which, I’ve learned, is usually how He works.

Other than that I’ve been packing, moving, and trying to fit my belongings in storage and a friends room. I feel like I’m living out of a cardboard box (okay, maybe I’m exaggerating) so give me a little slack this summer with cards, gift-wrapping, etc. I’m trying to make do.

Wedding season is in full force, so I’ve enjoyed saving money in my food and entertainment budget! Seeing friends join together in life has been pretty cool too, I guess. (kidding). It’s been great!! It has been another way to see God exalted and hear of the great love He has for His church.

I start my summer job tomorrow, which I am not exactly looking forward to. Not that I think it’s going to be a bad gig, I just don’t feel like I’ve had enough of a break. I’m teaching pre-school from 8:30-1:30 everyday. Not a bad schedule, and maybe the structure will give me diligence to spend my free time on worthy things rather than wasteful ones. We’ll see.

Again, my apologies for the long break in writing. It’s been frustrating that I haven’t found time to sit down and type, but hopefully this summer will allow me lots of free time to do the things I love best. I hope you are having a great summer (so, it’s technically spring but whatev) and finding ways to stay cool in this scorching heat!!!