Beautiful

I love how some Christian songs include scripture verbatim (what a great way to memorize scripture!!). I especially love reading the Bible and having a song come to mind that I can replay over in my head and take with me throughout the day. After reading through the Christmas story (of course…it’s Christmas eve) I flipped over to the book of Hebrews and began reading. Hebrews made reference to a verse in Job (7:17) that reads,

“What is man that you make so much of him,

that you give him so much attention…”

Immediately a song came to mind, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what the song was or who sang it…however, with a little help from google and itunes I was able to find it. Here it is. I hope you enjoy the lyrics as much as I do (you’ll like the actual song even better, I’m sure!)…

As I look into the stars


Pondering how far away they are


How You hold them in Your hands


And still You know this man


You know my inner most being, oh


Even better than I know, than I know myself


What a beautiful God


What a beautiful God


And what am I, that I might be called Your child


What am I, what am I


That You might know me, my King


What am I, what am I, what am I


As I look off into the distance


Watching the sun roll on by


Beautiful colors all around me, oh


Painted all over the sky


The same hands that created all of this


They created you and I


What a beautiful God


What a beautiful God


And what am I, that I might be called Your child


What am I, what am I


That You might know me, my King


What am I, what am I


That You might die, that I might live


What am I, what am I, what am I, what am I


What am I

"Beautiful" by Shawn McDonald

Rightly Related

As I sat down for my quiet time this morning, which has been long overdue, I looked forward to simply being in the presence of my Maker (and getting back on a routine schedule). The past couple of weeks in this advent season have not been spent in waiting for the coming of Christ, but for time off work and a highly anticipated wedding of a dear friend. Those two things have dominated my time and probably my conversations (I apologize to those who had to listen to me!). As I was standing at the alter listening to the pastor charge the bride and groom with the responsibilities and commitment of marriage, I was reminded of what was important. I tried to be there for my friend to assist her in preparing for the day in terms of the visible, but not the heart. I helped put programs together and had her dress steamed, but I did not offer to pray over her or their marriage. As I stood and watched the vows exchanged, I was humbled…and it didn’t stop there.

God continued to speak to me through Oswald Chambers this morning, as he does every time I open My Utmost for His Hightest. Chambers wrote,

“If you can help others by your sympathy or understanding, you are a traitor to Jesus Christ. You have to keep your soul rightly related to God and pour out for others on His line, not pour out on the human line and ignore God…The thing that remains and deepens is the worker’s simple relationship to Jesus Christ; his usefulness to God depends on that and that alone…We are send by God to lift up Jesus Christ, not to give wonderfully beautiful discourses.”

Wow! It was exactly what I needed to hear. Not only does my disobedience or idleness affect me, but it affects my ability to be a blessing to others when God needs me. I was there for my friend in every way, except the one that mattered. I failed to be a sister in Christ in the most important hours of her life and for that I am sorry.

Random Thoughts and Happenings

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog. I know it's not always interesting...or even updated, but I do try to post important happenings that I want you to know about (and I want to look back and read about). It may be random, but so am I. This week was crazy busy and made me cry at points BUT then it gave me so MANY things to be excited about!!!

-I have Kait for my roomie for another 5 months! Wahoo!

-Auburn is going to the National Championship game!!! War Eagle!!

-No more classes this semester! whew.

-I had an excellent dream!! ;)

-I got my Christmas shopping done (well…close enough)!!

-I was able to fit in jeans I haven’t worn in three years!! double wahoo!

-I have a job I love!

-I have the most amazing friends!

-I got to see an old friend! So glad you came up Jen!

-People have Christmas lights up!

-There is ALWAYS a Christmas movie on either Lifetime or Hallmark!!

-I get to see my family in ONE week!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!!

Merry Christmas.

There is Only One and It is He.

It is no surprise that many women are perfectionists. Not only of ourselves and our homes, but also sometimes of other people and situations. Unfortunately, I am one of these women (I feel strange calling myself a woman, but I suppose I should suck it up and face the fact that I’m no longer 18). I have high expectations of myself, others, and life in general. These expectations have become much more realistic over the years due to other’s counsel and my own disappointments which have created more reliance on God. I am thankful for this now, but was not so at the time.

Not too long ago one of my dearest friends politely offered a book to me that she thought I may benefit from; The Relief of Imperfection: For Women Who Try Too Hard to Make It Just Right. In my free time this week (which I have enjoyed immensely!) I decided to take a trip to B&N and enjoy reading something other than textbooks. It was between this book and the new Nicholas Sparks book, but I decided to try and improve my mind rather than add to the unrealistic expectations that are so prevalent in his novels’ storylines. I picked up the book and was hooked immediately. It contains real-life stories, advice and suggestions AND it is all backed by scripture. I am trying to pace myself so I can let the words of each chapter really sink in, but I can already tell this book is a winner.

It has become very evident to me that the root of my desire to be perfect is simply my need to try and earn love and even salvation through works. How foolish am I? God desires nothing from me but my heart. He just wants me. He just wants ME?

He.

Just.

Wants.

Me.

With all my flaws, failures, doubts, and disregard. Why is that simple truth so difficult to understand? And extend?

Father God, allow my life to be transformed by You. Help me to live in the truth daily that You are perfect and desire nothing more than for me to rest in that. I pray that you would become greater, and I would become less (John 3:30). Help me to not only accept your grace for myself but to extend it to others. Remind me that we are all Your children and You love us just the same.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

A Day of Thanksgiving

On this beautiful Thanksgiving Day I feel overwhelmed with appreciation for The One who has provided for my every need. Two and half years ago I moved to Birmingham searching for more. After graduating and living in a state of depression for over a year He brought me to the Magic City and has slowly changed my life by strategically placing people to be an encouragement in my walk and, simply, a friend. I am reminded of the words in one of my favorite NEEDTOBREATHE songs, “The years go by like stones under rushing water. We only know, we only know when it’s gone.” Looking back on the last few years gives me a greater appreciation and understanding for who God is and how He works. I may not always understand it, but I don’t have to. I only need to trust it. Thank you, LORD, for “lifting me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; setting my feet on a rock and giving me a firm place to stand.” (Psalm 40:2) On this day of Thanksgiving that is what I am most thankful for.

Oh Love that Wilt Not Let Me Go

Oh, love that wilt not let me go,

I rest my weary soul in thee

I give thee back this life I owe

And in thine ocean depths its flow

may richer, fuller be

Oh, light that follow'st all my way,

I yield my flickering torch to thee

My heart restores its borrowed ray

That in thy sunshine's blaze its day

may brighter, fairer be

Oh, joy, that seekest me through pain,

I cannot close my heart to thee

I trace the rainbow through the rain

And feel the promise is not vain

that morn shall tearless be

Oh, cross that liftest up my head,

I dare not ask to fly from thee

I lay in dust life's glory dead

That from the ground there blossoms red

life that shall endless be

-"Oh Love that Wilt Not Let Me Go" by George Matheson

I was introduced to this old hymn at a new church I've been visiting and have been thinking about it since. The words spoke to me and the updated melody was so catchy it's been replaying in my head for days. The third verse is my favorite because it speaks of God's faithfulness, which is something I have been reminded much of lately. Maybe I've needed to hear it, eh?Anyway, it is comforting to know there is nothing I can do (or not do) to be separated from Him (Romans 8:38-39). Even more comforting, nothing I do (or don't do) takes away from who He is. He is good. He will always be good. Regardless of my fickle self.

If you want to hear a great version of this awesome song, just click the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-tXgsBq418&feature=related

Today

For those of you who still read my blog...thank you! I promise to update more often! I'm still trying to balance work, school, life, AND technology. I'll get the hang of it soon...I hope. Okay, I have a few things I wanted to report about my day at school (work) and school (school)...

{one} A child began to urinate on the playground in a flower bush today. Lovely. He's only 4! Boys will be boys, I guess. Anyway, it made for a good laugh for us teachers. Hopefully you can get a laugh out of it too.

{two} As I was leaving the school for the day my coworker and I witnessed a woman have her car robbed while she was picking up her child! Who does that?? Apparently some hoodlum boys from WHS. It was sad to see her try and yell some sense into these boys while they ran away (and she called the police).

{three} In my psych class tonight our teacher discussed the difference between people in their early, middle, and late adult years. She said as you enter your middle adult years and, hopefully, achieve "generativity" over "stagnation" (Erikson) you begin to do the things you love that will add to society; a job or service you could provide with no extrinsic benefit to yourself. She said, if you're lucky, you may find that now, with the added benefit of a salary. Her exact words that followed were, "I bet none of you can think of something you like to do so much that you would do it without pay." I didn't speak up, but I thought "Umm, I definitely can". I mean, heck, I work for next to nothing now! BUT I love those kids and they make it worth it!! I don't mind pinching pennies to see those adorable faces and sweet spirits everyday! Hopefully you won't mind getting a lame Christmas gift this year! hah. Anyway, all that to say, I love what I do. As if I don't say it enough.

The weather outside is frightful

Forget about Autumn…it feels like Winter outside! Where did this cold weather come from? I know I’ve been saying I kinda want it to get cold, but did it have to go from 80 degrees to 40?? In case you are wondering…no, I’m not really one of those people. The one’s who want it to be cold when it’s 105 degrees and can’t wait for Summer when it’s only January. I pretty much want it to be May all year round! May is the BEST month, ya know! Anyway, in an effort to be optimistic, these are the things I like about cold weather:

-getting to wear my new anthropologie sweater. It’s beautiful.

-sleeping in a warm bed thanks to my heated mattress pad. LOVE it!

-fires

-Starbucks’ Peppermint Mochas

-Starbucks’ Salted Caramel Signature Hot Chocolate. YUM!!!

-boots and scarves

-Holidays…of course!

The common theme seems to be “something that keeps you warm,” but like I said, I could have warm weather all year. I suppose I should just bundle up and get ready for a cold winter. If it’s anything like last years, I’m in trouble.

I’d love to hear some of your favorite things about Winter…or cold weather in general.

I love my "Job"

When I walk in the front doors and see the students sitting in the hall waiting to come to class, I get so excited. Everyday I learn something new and get to know my students better. It is so interesting to see the way children act, interact and react. I can’t wait to see how much progress they make through the school year! I have observed growth already in the three weeks I’ve been there. It’s amazing! There is one thing I don’t love about my job, though. Driving home. It is so depressing. I leave my job in a community that has a very high crime rate and is in need of economic and spiritual revival. I drive “over the mountain” to crepe myrtle lined roads filled with foreign cars and in need of an economic reality check. I don’t mean to sound harsh about either side of the mountain, but I am saddened by the divide that is Red Mountain. I should drive home and feel blessed to live where I live, but I actually feel guilty for driving home to my “perfect” little apartment with our manicured yards. I feel as if I am ignoring the big issue. I believe I am called to work with children in urban Birmingham, but am I really doing enough? I don’t want this job to be a “job” but a daily opportunity to love these kids and show them Christ’s love. How does this translate into change for the community? I have no idea. All I know (and what I’m clinging to) is that I am doing what I feel God has called me to do now. I won’t worry about what else I need to do, because I know God will equip me to do His work in His time. I say this often, but I’m so glad I serve such a capable God.

Gnome Buddy Knows

That's the name of my new background. Pretty cute, huh? The little gnome made me laugh out loud, so maybe it does you too! I recently went to the movies to see "Life As We Know It" (great movie, by the way) and there were some ridiculous previews for a new gnome movie. Ridiculous doesn't even begin to describe how stupid it looks, but that's just my opinion. Seriously though, "Life As We Know It" was so good! It has been too long since I felt like I got my money's worth from a movie! This one was well worth the $9.50 it cost me! It was funny, moving, sweet, funny, happy and inspiring. Did I mention it was funny? Plus you get some good eye candy! Not only does Josh Duhamel star in it, but Josh Lucas plays a supporting role! I KNOW, right! Anyway, I definitely recommend it! Let me know if you see it and what you think...

Bachelorette Weekend

My friend, Kara, is getting married in December, so we went to Lake Hartwell in South Carolina for her bachelorette weekend. It was so wonderful to get away and celebrate the upcoming nuptials of one of my dearest friends! As most parties do these days, it included sharing time of our favorite youtube videos. I was introduced some pretty hilarious ones...but I think this one was my favorite. Thanks Jill! Enjoy all...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gspaoaecNAg&feature=channel

Update

Okay, so I only updated my song list, but I'm making progress! Don't judge me based on my current faves. If you are honest with yourself, you probably like them too. Stay tuned for a real update on life. Maybe some bachelorette party pics since I just got back from Lake Hartwell with one my besties, Kara. We had so much fun and perfect weather. Now I'm enjoying my Columbus day vacation from work. No kiddies tomorrow either for parent-teacher conferences, but Thursday and Friday the head teacher's out...so it's me! Ah! It's too soon for this. Pray for survival and sanity.

It's a Girl!!!

(No, it's not mine. I know I haven't blogged in a while, but not THAT MUCH has happened!) I've been so busy lately I haven't had the opportunity to do anything worth blogging about. Well, my job is pretty darn fun (most days), but you are probably tired of me talking about that! SO, I am going to share my excitement over my cousin's baby GIRL! She just found out the sex! This is the first baby in the family and we are overjoyed to see this baby in person. She is going to be so beautiful, blessed, and well-mannered (if you know her mama, you know what I mean). Oh, I forgot to mention well-dressed (if you know me, you know what I mean). I already went on a shopping spree at Baby GAP and got the most adorable pink and purple clothing. I should probably stop shopping for the unborn and spend money on sustenance so I can stop eating beans and cornbread every night for dinner. Just kidding, it's actually been cream corn soup and saltines. Not very nutritious, but really yummy! Okay, enough about my meals (although very engaging, I'm sure) and back to baby! There will be no name until the day of her birth, so I'm just calling her baby girl. Very original...I know! I'm sure I'll have some pictures of the mama-to-be soon, but until then here is a link to her blog post. Enjoy!

http://abbasgirlandthefamily.blogspot.com/2010/10/baby-is.html

They Call Me Teacher

Ms. Pruitt, will you tie my shoe? Ms. Pruitt, can I go to the bathroom? Ms. Pruitt, I’m hot. Can we go inside now? Ms. Pruitt, there’s #2 on the floor. (yes, seriously!) Ms. Pruitt, I love you.

I love the questions children ask and the comments they make! It doesn’t get old. Everyday is a new opportunity to be amused. I’ve had so many people tell me to keep a journal of all the crazy things kids say, which I plan to do. I also thought it might be fun to share some of them with you. So far nothing extremely entertaining has been said, but I did have a girl make a funny comment today. As we were playing outside on the playground, one cute little girl was complaining to me about how hot is was. While she was asking if we could go inside another girl came up to me and said, “Ms. Pruitt, I wanna be cold.” Hahah. I just kinda laughed. I loved her way of telling me she was hot. I may be easily amused, but it made my day.

Why can’t you plan for the unexpected??

(big sigh)

I am so tired. Sorry I haven’t updated in a while (yes, that is intended for you Josh), but it has just been one of those weeks. You know, the kind where no matter how organized you are or how many lists you make, things keep popping up! My favorite was when I was on my way to an impromptu meeting on my lunch break yesterday and got pulled over by a cop. Seriously?!? I went through a checklist in my head. I wasn’t speeding. I didn’t run a red light. My seatbelt was on. Oh no, was that a no right on red intersection? No, definitely not. What the heck did I do?!? I calmly pulled over, rolled down my window and waited on the officer. “Did you know your right headlight is out?” Well, um, NO…it’s broad daylight!!! Okay, so maybe those were not my exact words, but I definitely thought that. He tells me the ticket won’t cost anything, yet takes my license and goes to his car. As I attempted to wait patiently (while checking my watch since I was on my way to a meeting), he proceeded to take his time. He returns with a ticket (wait…what??) and tells me that I have 72 hours to get a new bulb, have it installed, find a cop, and then get the cop to sign the ticket and remove the warning so that I avoid a fee. Ugh…that was like three things added to my to-do list!! Not to mention the last time I got a headlight changed the people at Autozone didn’t even know how to do it! Some rando from the parking lot offered to do it for me. Anyway, crisis averted. I bought the bulb and changed it myself (kudos to me!). Now I just need to track down a pesky cop. Of course, they’re probably never around when you NEED to see one.

Jehovah Jireh

I am eating my words right now…and they taste so good! I said in my previous blog that I didn’t think I would get the job at Cornerstone. Well, I got it!! I am excited beyond words! I don’t think my body is capable of processing the excitement and million other emotions I feel right now. I’m definitely in denial. It seems too good to be true. At any moment I fear getting a call from the school saying, “Sorry, we’ve had a change of heart.” Everything has worked out way more perfect than I could have ever imagined, and there is no one to thank but my Heavenly Father, Provider, Protector, and Friend! He is far better than I deserve and I am so thankful He is. His ways are definitely not my own and I am grateful for that too! Since my words cannot do justice, I give up and leave you with our Father’s words:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 
neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, 
so are my ways higher than your ways 
and my thoughts than your thoughts.” -Isaiah 55:8-9

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28

I love this crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life

So much has happened lately! Okay, maybe not so much in actuality, but definitely in possibility. The past week has been filled with realizations, confirmations, and excitement about the future. As you know, I am in school working towards obtaining my masters degree in elementary education. I am almost finished with the program and am so excited to become a teacher! I can’t wait to have my own class of little kids running around! Well, maybe not running around, although I do want to teach kindergarten, so running around will most likely be involved. Sorry! I get on tangents. Anyway…as you probably know, I also have a passion for urban ministries and hope to have a job opportunity one day that combines my loves. Since moving to Birmingham I have been working with a school in Woodlawn that has captured my heart. Through volunteering with this school in different capacities I have come to respect the work they are doing to make God’s name greater and these children’s futures brighter. Last week it occurred to me that as a friend of mine is leaving her position there, they will need someone to fill it. I inquired and have an interview tomorrow. I am writing about this because I know God is going to use this experience in some way and I want to have it in writing. I may not get the job. In fact, I probably won’t, but God has used this experience to confirm in me that this is my passion, my gift. This is the purpose He has intended me for. I am doing His will and it feels so good. Don’t misunderstand me, I would love to get this job, but no matter what happens tomorrow I have had so many positive things come out of this experience already. I know I want to work with this school, or one very similar one day. I have made the decision to stay in Birmingham for my student teaching. AND I was reminded, yet again, of God’s amazing ability to take my seemingly hopeless circumstances and floor me with His goodness, love and faithfulness.

Thursday's Thoughts/Tangents

It's been a loooong week and I am so glad I can almost say TGIF! Not only is it a long weekend, but it is the opening weekend of football season (does "opening" apply to sports or only to hunting seasons...oh well, I'm a girl so I think I get a pass). Woot woot for Auburn football!!!

War Eagle!

I am so excited to sit in Jordan-Hare with my "family" and cheer on my alma mater! The chill bumps I get on my arms during the pre-game video are...well, titillating. I hate that word, but it's kinda fitting.

As you probably know (if you actually know me), I have quite a few friends that are Alabama fans. I know, I know. Why, right? Just kidding. I love you guys! Seriously though, I have deliberated over what I should do about this. I could choose to shun the majority of my friends for four months out of the year...but that may get lonely. I could talk a bunch of smack, but then that would make me one of those annoying fans I don't like, so that's no good. Plus I'm no good at the smack talk thing. That really only leaves me with one option. Learn to be tolerable. hmmmm. Am I ready for such a mature act? We shall see! I have developed a twelve step program (not really, but it sounds prudent) and the first step requires me to discontinue any negative comments I may wish to make regarding The U of A, the words "roll tide" (it was really hard to type that btw), the color crimson, the houndstooth design, Bear Bryant, or Nick Saban. Okay, maybe not Nick Saban...let's not go overboard. This may take me the entire season to accomplish, but I will try. I need you to keep me accountable but also extend some grace. Remember, this has been a difficult decision.

And more than ever....

"I believe in Auburn and love it!"

For You

Won't you take this cup from me

Cause fear has stolen all my sleep

If tomorrow means my death

I pray you'll save their souls with it

Let the songs i sing

Bring joy to you

Let the words i say profess my love

Let the notes i choose

Be your favorite tune

Father let my heart be after you

In this hour of doubt i see

But who i am is not just me

So give me strength to die myself

So love can live to tell the tale

Let the songs i sing

Bring joy to you

Let the words i say profess my love

Let the notes i choose

Be your favorite tune

Father let my heart be after you

-NEEDTOBREATHE

A glimpse of my semester to come....I sure hope not!

So, I will save you the boring details of my daily life...but here was the overall schedule for today:

• Woke up and literally told my mom, "I can't wait to get back in bed tonight"
• Leave house before 7am
• Drop off cupcakes at work for the birthday girl
• Get to school by 8
• Sit in class until 12:15 (try to accomplish things on my checklist during my 15 minute breaks that ended up being 5 minutes due to long-winded teachers)
• Get to work by 12:30
• Leave work at 4
• Drive to campus and find parking (ugh!) while trying to call the people back that called me during work (ignore this part Nana)
• Get to class by 4:30
• Sit in class until 7 (with a sub..it's only the 2nd week. really???)
• Run (this is wishful thinking since I am sitting in class now)
• Order books...yes it's the 2nd week and I still haven't ordered them all
• Catch up with a friend

okay, so maybe I did get a little detailed, but this is how I feel:

I can't hear You...

Lkjdf;ia;weial;ksdnmv;lkasjdf;lajsdf. Yeah, that’s pretty much how I feel right now. Why can’t God just give us a road map at birth of all the twists and turns that make up this crazy thing called life?? I realize that it might cut down (or out) on the whole trust aspect of Christianity…but, dang, it would be so much easier! I’m still clinging to Isaiah 30:21…but Lord, could you maybe make that voice be a little more audible? I’m a little hard of hearing.

Last one...

I'm getting bored with my schedule...as I'm sure you're getting bored with reading it! So, here's the last one:

Thursday:

Worked 8:00-1:00

Grocery shopped for ingredients for dad’s birthday cake

Made vegetable stew to use up ingredients from pantry

Called to make an appointment to take clothes to a re-sale shop

Picked through yard sale pile for clothes worthy to take

Jillian Michaels workout video

Walked at Spain Park in record breaking heat

Freaked out a little over my tuition going up 13%

Calmed down since there’s nothing I can do about it

Entered contacts into my Mac address book

Hung out with friends

Read

cont....

Wednesday:

Begrudgingly got out of bed

Worked 8:00-5:00

Went running with the Trak Shak group

Cleaned my bathroom

Did some laundry

Watched an episode of The Nanny (I know, but I love it!!)

Caught up on my correspondence

Relaxed and watched Raising Helen while blogging

Read

Got to bed early

...

Tuesday:

Worked 8:00-1:00

Grocery shopped

Baked Pineapple Upside-Down Cake for a work birthday

Vacuumed

Swept/Mopped

Washed baseboards, blinds, doorframes, doors, and kitchen cabinets

Made Thank You cards with my new stamps

Went for a run

Met friends at Jackson’s

Didn’t go to bed until after 2am

Keepin' Busy

Summer classes are over and I get a week and half break before beginning again. I spent the first weekend in the mountains with my lovely family (see photo above) and am now back in town, catching up on all I’ve neglected since life got crazy. For the next week (or so) I’m going to update daily with my comings and goings.

Monday:

Worked 8:00-2:30

Doctor Appt.

Jillian Michaels workout video

Walked at Spain Park

Dusted house

Cleaned out closet for future yard sale

Watched TV and did not feel guilty

Read

Abide

I have missed for so long a church where I truly feel at home. All throughout college and my past three years in the working world I have searched for a church I could get involved in. Somewhere that had the perfect mix of needing me (to serve) and me needing them (to be spiritually fed). I have found it…and I am so thankful! Every Sunday I feel challenged, inspired, and just completely Spirit-filled. God spoke to me yesterday and, of course, it wasn’t easy to hear. In my attempt to be more vulnerable…here it is:

I feel like God has been working in my life so much lately. He has been opening my eyes to my shortcomings and struggles and has brought me to a new level of dependence on Him. He is revealing the waste that consumes my time, the fears that consume my thoughts, and the insecurities that hinder my purpose. I never realized what a fearful person I am, but I am terrified of failure. Not of failing myself, but of failing God and others. It is difficult sometimes to fully rely on God, but it is necessary to do so to allow my life to be completely used by Him. It should be a relief to know that I don’t have to do anything but give over control, but for me that has been a great challenge. Lord, give me the courage to put every aspect of life in Your hands, knowing full well that You are more than capable. The only thing I have to do is abide.

"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Short & Sweet

I'm a little busy with finals right now, hence there being no updates for the past week. Sorry! A few things to share...

• God is pretty dang good!
• I got bangs. They're not half bad. They're growing on me (this can be meant two ways...and both apply).
• I'm so ready for July 30th!! This is the day after the bulk of my work is due. Come on..hurry up!
• I need to manage my time better and stop procrastinating. Seriously gonna work on that...later. :)
• I love you! If you are reading this I want you to know how much I appreciate you being in my life. I'm blessed to have such awesome family and friends. I'm not sure I could make life work without you! Maybe I could, but it wouldn't be neeaaarrr as much fun!

XOXO

Stephanie

Bangs

I want to get bangs! I'm very boring with my hairstyles and really want to spice it up! What do ya think...would this look good on me?? Comments welcome...please.

Break My Heart

Heal my heart and make it clean 


Open up my eyes to the things unseen


Show me how to love like you have loved me



Break my heart for what breaks yours


Everything I am for your kingdoms cause


As I go from earth into eternity

What awesome words!?! These lines alone make Hosanna by Hillsong my favorite contemporary Christian song. They definitely capture the very cry of my heart. These few lines encompass what living a life fully devoted to following Christ is about. Most importantly, it first addresses that we can be of no spiritual benefit to others if we are a complete mess ourselves. It is important as Christians to remain diligent in our walk in order fulfill His ultimate mission and be a blessing to others. The third line sounds so easy, especially as a woman, but to love like God loves is an arduous undertaking for anyone. To love others like He has loved me requires a great deal of patience, understanding and graciousness; far more than I am capable of having. Isn’t it great that we don’t have try with our own might to be these things, though? We just have to be a willing vessel and allow God to make the changes. This is a difficult pill to swallow for me. I often forget that is not by my own doing that anything good comes from me, but by His choosing to act in my life. Romans 7 may be confusing, but it illustrates this perfectly.

The next line is what brings me to tears every time I sing this song in church. “Break my heart for what breaks Yours.” Wow. I would love to say these words touch me because I am so deeply broken for the lost, but unfortunately it is because I am so often not. I WANT those words to be true in my life. I want the idea of hell to become a reality to me instead of a fictional place. Why is it that I can imagine good but not bad, heaven but no hell? I know God is a just God. I KNOW hell exists in my head…just not in my heart. To think of the people I love experience eternity apart from God should create in me a desire for nothing else but to see them come to Christ. I generally think of myself as an empathetic person, but I wish these words were truer for me. I PRAY these words become truer for me. It could make a difference between life and death.

Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours!

My Prayer

My soul is consumed with longing for You. For Your direction & will; Your guidance & strength. Your word says,

“Whether you turn to right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’” Isaiah 30:21

Make this real in my life. Silence the distractions of my human mind and overwhelm me with the assurance that I am following after You. Remove fear from my life because I know fear does not come from You. For You are love and perfect love casts out all fear. For where there is love there is trust and where there is trust there is obedience. This is my cry: that I would be confident in Your love and so in tune with Your spirit that I may follow, without question, Your good and perfect will.

Celebrating our Independence

I spent my 4th of July holiday at my grandparents in Small Town, USA...or should I say Hickville, Alabama. I kid you not, the town's festivities included riding lawn mower races!! Talk about people watching! Airport "people watching" is a thing of the past. Just find a small town's street party, wait for "Sweet Home Alabama" to play, and watch the crazy girls cut loose! Oh, it was an eye full! In all seriousness, though, we had so much fun! It was a weekend filled with family, games, bicycling, red lipstick, red shoes, and, of course, lots and lots of eating. I love our family meals! They always include homemade pickles, both sweet green and red hot flavored, and black olives...my favorite! Yeah, yeah, say what you want...they're delish! My Papaw is a great gardner, so we always have the best fruit & vegetables and, of course, homemade ice cream always tops off the meal nicely. We have a pastor in the family, so we even get to have church on the back porch (in our pajamas). Family gatherings are the best! I have included a few pictures to document our fun times!

Playing Rook. A family tradition.

My aunt and I lost miserably, if I remember correctly.

My grandparents house.

We have a big family!

My Papaw's garden.

The bench my Papaw made.

The classy lawn mower race.

My mode of transportation for the weekend.

I look frustrated because my mom wouldn't stop taking

pictures...typical mother behavior I guess.

We cousins all wore red shoes...so we just had to take a picture!

I hope your 4th was as enjoyable and relaxing as mine!

If I Could Write a Letter to Me

I love following other people’s blogs, as well as randomly searching blogs hoping to find something insightful and inspiring. I ran across such a blog the other day. In this particular blog, the writer wrote letters to herself at various significant ages. How many times do we wish we could go back in time and do things differently, knowing what we know now. I know I do. The particular age to which I wish I could return is 14. So…in the words of Brad Paisley, “If I could write a letter to me:”

Dear Stephanie,

The day is January 15, 2000 and you will soon become what you have dreamed of for the past two years: John Doe’s girlfriend. As soon as you moved to town, you singled him out as your “crush”. Even though you knew you couldn’t date until you were 15, it didn’t stop you from hanging out with him at every opportunity. Well, the time is near. He will ask you out and your mom will approve (what the heck, Mom!). Say NO! Don’t do it. You will avoid a prom that wasn’t fun, a first kiss that was laughable…literally, and an “I love you” that meant absolutely nothing. Dodge that bullet and remember that you don’t need a boy’s attention and approval to validate who you are! Remember what your mom always says, “Remember who and Whose you are!” In fact, just don’t date until you go to college. This will save you a lot of unnecessary heartbreak and baggage. And while we’re on that subject, when your mom gives you the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye AND makes you suffer through an entire conference with Joshua Harris, LISTEN. You don’t have to agree and abide by everything the book says, but value the knowledge and advice of others. Most importantly, just because your mom did something, doesn’t make it okay for you. I know she’s a great mom (and still is) and seems to have it all together, but she’s trying to protect you from heartache and regret. Listen to her and heed her advice. That makes me realize I can sum up this letter in three words:

“Mind your mother!”

Love,

Me

Raindrops on Roses

These are a few of my favorite things:

Movie?

Love & Basketball…duh!

Genre of music?

Country

Song?

Just to See You Smile by Tim McGraw

Book?

Ooh...tough one! Other than the obvious answer, The Bible, I’m gonna have to go with Francine River’s Mark of The Lion trilogy. It combines everything in one: romance, history, action, suspense, biblical principles…

Place to Read?

The treadmill…it helps me focus on the book.

City?

Hmm. I’m gonna have to say London. I LOVE it and want to go back and spend more time there.

Food?

Gosh, I have so many! Let’s just say anything with sugar.

Color?

GREEN! I love it.

Joke?

I probably shouldn’t say it on here. If you want to know, ask me, but I may not tell you.

TV show?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S!!! No D.

Famous quote?

True joy is not a thing of moods, not a capricious emotion, tied to fluctuating experiences. It is a state and condition of the soul bound up with love and goodness, and so is deeply rooted in the life of God.

Bible verse?

Philippians 4:4-9 & Isaiah 40:26-31

My Sanity is Gone

I am losing my mind. Seriously. I’m misplacing/losing things…and I don’t lose things. I ramble. I’m forgetful. It’s bad! School is taking its toll on me this semester more than any other. The classes require much independent work and research, which I am finding hard to fit in my schedule. I KNOW I’ll get it all finished and I KNOW it will be worth it….it’s just getting from here to there. In order to help myself stay optimistic and energized I’m trying to think of what I can do when this is all over. Here are my plans for my three weeks off…

o Lay out and tan this pasty skin

o Read adult books (by this, I just mean NOT a children’s book)

o Plan a girl’s night out to go dancing

o Give my apartment a good cleaning

o Catch lightning bugs with Kait (she’s never done it!)

o Go to the mountains with my fam

o Go to the beach…hopefully!

o Go to Cali…definitely!

Hurry up July 22^nd!! You can’t get here soon enough!