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Monday, August 2, 2010

Abide

I have missed for so long a church where I truly feel at home. All throughout college and my past three years in the working world I have searched for a church I could get involved in. Somewhere that had the perfect mix of needing me (to serve) and me needing them (to be spiritually fed). I have found it…and I am so thankful! Every Sunday I feel challenged, inspired, and just completely Spirit-filled. God spoke to me yesterday and, of course, it wasn’t easy to hear. In my attempt to be more vulnerable…here it is:

I feel like God has been working in my life so much lately. He has been opening my eyes to my shortcomings and struggles and has brought me to a new level of dependence on Him. He is revealing the waste that consumes my time, the fears that consume my thoughts, and the insecurities that hinder my purpose. I never realized what a fearful person I am, but I am terrified of failure. Not of failing myself, but of failing God and others. It is difficult sometimes to fully rely on God, but it is necessary to do so to allow my life to be completely used by Him. It should be a relief to know that I don’t have to do anything but give over control, but for me that has been a great challenge. Lord, give me the courage to put every aspect of life in Your hands, knowing full well that You are more than capable. The only thing I have to do is abide.

"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

2 comments:

Josh Lee said...

cool!

Rene' said...

So glad you found a church you can grow in... When I visited with you, I could feel God's presence there as well. He defiantly has His hand on you. I have seen you grow into a woman after His heart, and there is no greater joy as a parent!!! Have I told you lately how proud I am that I get to call you daughter? Mom