Why am I still here?

I was told to stop quoting my favorite songs and actually update my blog. I have been avoiding it because I feel like my life is in a state of chaos right now and I don’t quite know how much to write or share. Anyway, here is what’s going on with me…in the words of yours truly.

God has really been trying to show me for a long time now that He has got me taken care of. I always try to do things on my own. I think I'm giving things over to Him, but He continues to take away my "comforts" to create more reliance on Him. It makes me kinda angry at first. I always try to figure out how I'm gonna handle all of the change and uncertainty (and lately there has been a lot!). I make scenarios in my head and try to play out each one so I can make plans. As I did this the other day I heard (in as close to an audible voice as possible), "Rely on ME!" How many times have I heard that before? Too many to count! Why am I STILL here? Why have I not learned this lesson that He so badly wants to teach me??? I broke down crying and thought of how badly I just wanted to give up. Again I heard God say, “DO! Give up. Give it to me. I love you and can take care of it all. You are in my hands and I will always protect you. It may not be easy, but trust me!” This truth has been reiterated to me many times since then and from different people who play a variety of roles in my life. So…I am giving up and giving over. I am going to stop worrying about the future so much and trust that God has got my back. I am going to focus more on today! I am going to live…and I’m so excited!!